Dementia can make communication difficult, but there are things people can do to learn how to talk to someone with dementia.
Following this advice can help loved ones and caregivers to communicate and build rapport with someone with dementia.
1. Understand challenges
Understanding the impact dementia has on communication is an important first step. Difficulty communicating is an early symptom of the disease, and it gets worse as the disease progresses.
While the exact challenges depend on the person and the stage of the disease, studies have found dementia can cause:
- memory loss
- disorientation
- difficulty with language and speech
- trouble finding the right words for things or people
- challenges comprehending
- incomprehensible speech
- repetitive speech
While it may be more difficult, people with dementia still want and need to communicate. It is important to learn how to adapt and keep communication possible.
2. Pick your time
People with dementia often have good days and bad days. They may also have a time of day when they are doing best or most alert.
While day-to-day communication has to occur under a variety of situation, if you want to talk with them about something specific or build rapport, pick a time when they are doing better.
Also, check their mood (see if they seem more relaxed instead of agitated) and ensure they have eaten and are well rested.
Before you begin your talk, check their environment and try to limit distractions, so they don’t get overstimulated.
3. Regulate your emotions
Trying to communicate with someone with dementia can be frustrating, but it is important to remember that they cannot help this—you being upset only serves to upset them.
You have to regulate your own emotions first. Calm yourself before you speak with them and take a break if need be.
4. Be calm and respectful
Start the conversation off gently (don’t startle them). You can use friendly touch or their name to get their attention. Be friendly and warm. Ensure that your tone of voice is relaxed and kind.
It is important to be respectful and treat them as adults. Don’t talk over them or talk down to them. Don’t speak about them as if they aren’t in the room.
They are facing a loss of independence and sense of control. Try to give them as much agency as possible by including them in conversations and giving them some choices.
If they express their feelings, don’t try to diminish or gloss over things. Be empathetic and validate how they are feeling.
5. Allow time for the conversation
People with dementia may take longer to process information, so it is important to speak slowly and allow plenty of time for them to think and respond. Don’t rush them or try to cover too much information.
6. Keep things simple
Another reason why it is important not to cover too much information is because you want to keep things simple by:
- Talking about one thing at a time
- Breaking things down and using basic words (don’t pull out SAT words here)
- Not asking too many questions
- Making the questions you do ask be yes or no questions or offering limited choices (Instead of “What do you want to drink?” consider saying “Do you want water?” or “Do you want water or tea?”)
- Avoid anything that is abstract or figurative
7. Practice active listening
A big part of communicating is listening. To help bridge any communication issues, try practicing active listening. Some ways to do this include:
- Giving the person your full attention
- Not interrupting
- Encouraging them to speak
- Showing you’re listening by nodding your head
- Restating what they say back to them to check your understanding
- Staying positive
8. Utilize nonverbal communication
Nodding your head to show that you are listening is only one way that you can utilize nonverbal communication.
You can also make eye contact, make appropriate facial expressions, and use hand gestures to reinforce whatever you are saying.
Additionally, gentle touch can be a great way to comfort or reassure someone with dementia while you speak to them (but consider how they respond to touch and how comfortable they seem).
People communicate a lot nonverbally. Paying attention to their body language, facial expressions, gestures, and signals can help you understand their feelings and thoughts during interactions.
9. Don’t overcorrect
While you want to understand what they are trying to say, it is important to remember that their information won’t always be accurate. Don’t correct them whenever they say something inaccurate. Their feelings matter more than the facts.
Stay focused on what matters: their feelings, what they are trying to communicate, the point of the conversation, or their answer to a specific question.
10. Try activities or distractions
Sometimes no matter how you speak to them, people with dementia will be upset and not want help.
While you don’t want distraction while trying to talk to them, distractions can be a good option for when they are upset or don’t want help.
Consider different activities they might enjoy, such as art and music.
11. Get support
It is great to learn how to talk to someone with dementia and other tips for caring for someone with dementia, but additional support may still be needed. Getting the necessary supports can help people avoid caregiver burnout. It also ensures the person with dementia has all the care and assistance they need.
Depending on the person’s situation and severity level, support could come in the form of other family members and friends, a nursing home, or a home care provider. When deciding on what is right for you and your family, consider the cost for dementia or Alzheimer’s care.
Home care is often a preferred choice because it is more affordable than a nursing home, one-on-one, offered at home (allowing them to stay in a familiar environment), and personalized (so it can be used at any stage of the disease).
Hire Pacific Angels Home Care for dementia care
Pacific Angels Home Care specializes in Dementia and Alzheimer’s care. We are available as needed and tailor our services to each individual’s needs.
Our experienced caregivers offer personal care for help moving around, eating, going to the bathroom, bathing, and grooming. We can also offer companionship care, safe transportation, medication reminders, meal prep, and light housekeeping.
For those in the Aptos, Monterey Bay, or Santa Cruz area, give us a call today at (831) 708-2876 or reach us online to request an in-home consultation!
