When you live far away from your elderly parent, it can be difficult to know how to help them. You may not even know what kind of help they need because you aren’t nearby to see what their day-to-day life is like.
So if you’re wondering how to help your elderly parents from long distance, rest assured. Between advances in technology and the improvements in senior care options, different methods to try.
Stay Apprised of the Situation
Before you can help your loved one, you need to understand their situation. It is important to learn as much as you can about their health and living situation.
Make a note of:
- any health conditions
- medical treatments
- medications
- physical limitations
- services that they use
- financial information
- contact info for their doctors, insurance company, and any local caregivers
To get this information you should first talk to your parent. Asking about these things can feel invasive, so make sure that you are compassionate, express your concern, and show them that you are trying to help them live as safely and happily as possible.
You may also need to talk to their doctors. Review HIPPA’s privacy rules and talk to your loved one about them giving permission for their doctors to be able to disclose their medical information. Providers have different rules about this (some require verbal consent while others require it in writing). Your parent will need to talk to their doctors to learn the requirements.
You may also want to look into creating a power of attorney.
One of the best options to fully understand the situation is visiting. When you visit, you can assess their living situation, including how they are eating, the safety of their home, and if they are capable of taking care of themselves.
It is also a good idea to talk to someone who lives close, such as family, friends, or neighbors, that can check in on your parent and let you know if your loved one needs more help.
Understanding the state of their health and living situation can help you decide how to best help them and prevent potential emergencies.
Assess Your Care Options
After you understand your parent’s current condition, you can figure out what level of help they need and which care option is best for them. This will depend on their health, home environment, and level of independence.
It may seem obvious, but people can forget to simply ask your parent how you can help them. They need to be involved in this process!
Also, ask yourself how you can help by reflecting on what your strengths are and what you are able to do. There are many ways that you can help your loved one.
Discuss the situation with your siblings or other family members either in person, on the phone, or over voice chat. Think about possible ways that the family can help or if your parent moving closer would be a realistic solution.
It is also important to consider care options outside of the family. All caregivers need help, especially long-distance caregivers. Luckily, there are many great options to match your parent’s needs, such as…
- If your parent cannot safely stay in their home or needs round-the-clock medical care, then consider long-term care facilities such as assisted living, nursing homes, and retirement communities.
- If your parent wants to stay in their home but requires medical care, look into home health care (clinical, medical assistance provided by a licensed professional).
- If your parent doesn’t require medical care but needs help with their daily tasks in order to stay in their home, look into our home care services.
Work together with your parent and family to create a plan that accommodates everyone and make sure you are all on the same page.
Make an Emergency Plan
Regardless of which care option you pick, you need to be prepared for any potential emergency.
Know which airlines offer direct flights, have an emergency fund, and create a plan of who can help with your kids or pets if you need to leave unexpectedly. You might also consider having an emergency bag packed, so you don’t have to try to remember things under duress.
Make sure that you have any caregivers’ contact information and that they have yours.
If your parent lives on their own, check that your parent has a first aid kit and designate someone who lives close and could quickly help them, such as a nearby neighbor or family friend. It can also be a good idea to have a security system or medical alert button to ensure they can quickly receive assistance.
Help with Financial Management
One way that you may be able to help is by making financial decisions.
If you are in a position where you can provide financial assistance (and they need it), then this would be hugely helpful, but helping with financial management could also mean helping your parents pay their bills and manage their money.
You could also deal with the insurance companies on your parent’s behalf. Figuring out referrals needed, coverage, and assessing claims can be a challenge, but it can make a huge difference in what kind of care your loved one can receive and how much they are expected to pay for that care.
These are things that many seniors need assistance with, and they can be done from a distance.
Provide Emotional Support
One of the most important roles is one that people often forget to view as help: providing emotional support.
Your loved one needs a support system. Be there to listen to them and provide social interaction.
Plan visits as often as you can. This gives them something to look forward to! Try to spend quality time with them that is unrelated to being a caregiver.
If a family member or friend is the primary caregiver, talk to them in advance about your visit. Figure out how you can help them and give them a break. You may also want to speak to them about utilizing respite care to help them avoid caregiver burnout.
In between visits, keep in touch through regular emails, texts, phone calls, and video chats. Set a regular time that you can talk to them. Remember that while texting may be your go-to form of communication, phone calls allow for a lot more natural conversation, and video chat is better since you can see them and get a better idea of how they are doing.
Serve as a Care Coordinator
A great way to help from a distance is to serve as a care coordinator. Here are some examples of ways you can help coordinate the care of your loved ones.
Medical Services
You can consult with doctors and even virtually attend the appointment.
Help make medical decisions, deal with insurance companies, and keep friends and family updated. You can be the point person between all the different individuals involved in your parent’s care.
Medication Compliance
You can help them create a schedule and set reminders. You could also get a pill dispenser that beeps or says a recorded message to remind them to take their medicine.
Cooking
You can arrange for grocery delivery using a service such as Instacart. You can also try to get some of their favorite meals from restaurants delivered.
If they need meals delivered and financial help, look into signing them up for Meals on Wheels (be prepared that there may be a waiting list).
Cleaning
Help them deep clean and organize when you visit. In between visits, come up with easy ways for them to clean up or hire help for them, such as a cleaning service or home care.
Check out our post on How to Help Your Loved One With Housekeeping.
Social Interaction
You provide social interaction as part of their emotional support, but it is important to also encourage them to go out with friends or family nearby or join a local club.
Our caregivers also provide companionship at home.
Transportation
Monitor if they should be driving and help them find reliable transportation.
You could use apps like Uber (if they are fine on their own but don’t drive) or see if there are local friends or family who could drive them to appointments.
Consider Home Care Services
Instead of trying to coordinate people or services to help with each of these areas, consider hiring a home care company to take care of this for your family.
Our caregivers help with medication compliance, meal prep, running errands, cooking, housekeeping, and transportation. We tailor our services to your parent’s needs and can help your loved one as little or as much as needed.
If you are the in Monterey Bay or Santa Cruz area, give our professional home care agency a call today at (831) 708-2876 or reach us online to find how we can help you help your parents!
